Talk:Walter Livsey

Lead

• I would split the lead into three paragraphs with breaks between "child. After", and between "demobilised. His".

• His name begins the first three sentences. Suggest the second should begin with "He played 320".

• Three successive sentences begin with "After". Might be best to start the second with "Having served his two-year residential".

• As a whole, the lead provides a concise summary of the narrative.

Early life

• I see he was born in 'Tod', not a million miles from places I've inhabited. Peter Lever was also from Todmorden. And, just remembered, so was Derek Shackleton.
• Racking my brains a bit with the third sentence: Initially, Livsey hoped to find a career with Surrey at The Oval, however the form of Bert Strudwick, who would later play Test cricket for England and took 1,237 catches and 258 stumpings in first-class cricket, meant that he could not find a place in the team.
  • First, there seems to be a huge leap between the child moving to Surrey, and the young man hoping to play for Surrey. The source says he was taken onto the ground staff. Although no date was given, that must have been in either 1910, when he was 16 (his 17th birthday was at the end of that season), or maybe 1911.
  • One thing is that Bert Strudwick was much older than Walter, and became an England player on New Year's Day in 1910, so would later play Test cricket for England needs to be amended.
  • I would omit Bert's statistics, as they are not relevant to Walter.
  • We know Walter qualified for Hampshire just before the 1914 season, so he must have gone there ahead of the 1912 season when he was 18.
  • The wording of the Wisden obituary says: "he was originally on the staff at The Oval, but with Strudwick in his prime there was no opening for him, and he was persuaded to move to Hampshire". Also, the OldRuts say: "He joined Surrey as a wicket-keeper but with the England keeper Herbert Strudwick in their side it was clear that his chances would be limited".
  • I think I would say everything that these two sources say, but in your own words. Could be along the lines of: In his teens, Livsey became a wicket-keeper and, hoping for a career with Surrey County Cricket Club, was able to join their ground staff at The Oval. However, with England keeper Bert Strudwick in the team, Livsey's chances were limited, and he was persuaded to join Hampshire to begin his cricketing career.
• That's a difficult one, but I think we need to focus on Livsey, and stay very close to the sources. It would have helped if there had been more dates.

Post-war resumption

• This is fine. He was really unlucky not to play for England.
• I had to smile when I read 'unpaid amateurs'. Hang on, is that WG chortling, I can hear?

Career twilight

• Good. Shame about his illness.
• Just one very minor point. I don't think you need to use quotes for victims, although of course some readers won't understand it as a cricketing term. Not sure.

Playing style and statistics

• Informative. I think it needs a paragraph break to separate wicket-keeping from batting.

Personal life

• I'd just put a comma after Wimbledon.
• Not that it matters, but did he marry at all, and have children?

Notes

• Good. Very useful.

References

• Structure and formatting are good. No harv/citeref errors.
• As there are 48 references, including three with multiple usage, I'll check a sample of eight, which I'll list here when I decide which ones.

04. Verified. And that's an interesting article.

12. Verified.

13. Verified, but very sad reading.

18. Verified. His stumpings made the difference.

23. Verified. Somehow fitting that Fred was the last Players skipper, though Jim Laker would have been better still.

41. Verified.

44. Verified.

48. I can't access Livsey's page via this link, so it looks as if this sentence must be included in ref 02.

02. Verified on all counts, and could be used more widely.

So, with 02 replacing 48, the sample of eight passes the spot-check.

Works cited

• All of them have citations. Formatting is good.

External links

• Okay. Good to see it defaults to Cricinfo now, not ESPN.

Categories

• Fine. I can't think of any others.